For various reasons, I feel like I've been moving in a bit of a slow motion in the past week. I guess having a cold, having one child (and possibly now both children) with similar said cold, having husband's friend visit in the middle of the week, having a snow day on Friday, and just feeling plain exhausted altogether by the weekend can add to all that. Of course, there are also the sundry emotions that we as grad student parents might go through during the course of the week for different reasons-- such as the classic frustration that there is just not enough time to get through our academic to do list; guilt after dropping off your son at day care (husband usually does this) and waiting there for 30 minutes while he screamed and cried because he wanted daddy and his friend who was visiting to drop him off (yet daddy had to drop his friend at the bus station, since he was leaving, which made it worse for DS (dear son)), and then learning later that morning that he cried for an additional 45 minutes; confusion over what tasks to prioritize and whether or not to waste 1-2 days in the next 2 weeks to make face to face contact with your comp committee on campus (2 hour drive each way) before you have to write said exam the first week of April-- not to mention you are very underprepared for a conference presentation set to take place in a week and half.....
Ok, I apologize for my ramblings, but I think at one time or another we can all relate. I want to try to keep my posts as positive and encouraging as possible, but we all must admit that there are times we just feel "blah" (have I said that before?). Even if quitting has never crossed your mind, I am sure you can relate to that feeling, to which people from various standpoints can attach a variety of meanings and emotions. Well, I guess that is how I feel today-- and of course this daylight savings time has just been one added smidgen to throw things off a bit. For the second day in a row we got up late (despite my setting 2 alarms) and I was trying to rush around to get both kids ready for day care. My son decided he wanted to dilly dally and refuse to eat the breakfast he asked me for the minute he got up, so my patience was being tested. However, now that everyone has left and I am sitting here having my breakfast, I am hoping that today turns out to be productive.
All that to bring me to the post I started to draft for yesterday, but was too tired to finish then:
Monday, March 11
Today was one of those days that just started as an "off" day. I don't know about you, but "springing forward" threw us for a bit of a loop the last couple days. I jumped up this morning (although I specifically remember setting it last night, I do not have a clue about what happened to my alarm) in a complete fog (haven't been sleeping too well the last few nights) thinking it was 6:50 when it was actually 7:50, my husband had also gotten up late and was getting ready for work. I ran downstairs and still in a fog, tried to get my son's things at least somewhat ready for preschool then "ran" up the stairs to wake him up. Both kids went to bed pretty late last night; thankfully tonight wasn't as bad, but I had that baseline sense of frustration all day that I wasn't about to get a lot of work done.
My now 1 yr old daughter seems to be getting teeth in clusters; all of us have had some semblance of a cold in the last two weeks, so I couldn't tell if it was just the latter or the latter and the former. Since she is home with me on the days my son goes to preschool, I usually try to make the most of her nap time and I can sometimes get SOME "work" done when she is playing on the floor occupying herself. Long story short, today she only napped for 1.5 hours and was a bit fussy...so I only got maybe a total of 2 hours of "work" done. Most of it was reading for my comp exam, and yes, 2 hours is pretty good, but since I am usually able to get even a bit more done than that on the days I am home with her; since I had set the unofficial goal to get through my reading list by the end of the week, I did feel a bit disgruntled. I told my husband when he got home that I "didn't get a lot of work done today." Then, as the night when on and in the hustle bustle of dinner time, baths, snuggling DS and DD (dear/darling son and daughter), I reflected on that statement.
"I didn't get a lot of work done today."
Now, I have heard some moms and people in general balk at the idea that being a parent is a "job", as if "job" is a derogatory term. I also know that there are other reasons why people don't like to call it a job, but I've also heard people say that "being a parent is the hardest job I've ever had." Truly, it can be the most challenging, regardless of how challenging your field of academic study may be. Again, I think about the statement that I often find myself saying:
"I didn't get a lot of work done today."
What about all the time I spent holding, feeding, snuggling, changing, and playing with my daughter?
What about the 2 loads of laundry that got washed and dried while DD played for a few minutes, since my concentration to do academic work was thrown off?
What about the dinner I cooked (DH usually does this, mainly because he is just better and more efficient at it) since DH told me he might be home late?
What about the time I spent talking with DS as I picked him up from preschool; as I gave him a shower and read him a book; as I said prayers with him?
What about the various other things I did today that might not be considered "work" or even part of my "job" as a parent, but fulfill my other roles-- such as talking on the phone with my mother, who has been having a lot of problems lately?
This might all sound very trivial, because I'm sure many of you realized that when I said "I didn't get a lot of work done today", I meant ACADEMIC work, but the point I'm trying to make that is most likely stating the obvious is that we as student/academic parents need to accept that there are days that we just aren't going to get that academic work done-- whether we don't reach our goal in terms of time spent and/or tasks completed. There are days that these other tasks will take over, such as caring for a sick/teething baby/child; doing puzzles with your preschooler who has a snow day; taking over more domestic duties due to your partner's obligations, etc. Trust me, even yesterday itself I kept thinking that my life would be easier if only I could hire someone to help around the house, if only I could get more child care for DD on a regular basis, etc. I guess we just have to learn to be innovative to find other "time slots" to get our work done; I know many other academic moms who are probably 110% better at this (or most likely more) than I am. We just have to keep at the forefront of our minds, that we are doing a good job, even if there are days we feel like we can't be the best parent and/or student/instructor/professor/researcher, etc. Just think about all the tasks that you did today-- of course, we all have days that we just need a break, mentally and physically, or days when we are forced to take a break for various reasons. But think about it (let's look on the bright side!)-- think about all the roles you have to fulfill in your life-- parent, spouse, partner, friend, child, student, instructor, etc-- what did you do today, even the smallest task, to fulfill one or many of those roles? I am sure you will be able to say that you DID in fact "get a lot of work done today."
Ok, I apologize for my ramblings, but I think at one time or another we can all relate. I want to try to keep my posts as positive and encouraging as possible, but we all must admit that there are times we just feel "blah" (have I said that before?). Even if quitting has never crossed your mind, I am sure you can relate to that feeling, to which people from various standpoints can attach a variety of meanings and emotions. Well, I guess that is how I feel today-- and of course this daylight savings time has just been one added smidgen to throw things off a bit. For the second day in a row we got up late (despite my setting 2 alarms) and I was trying to rush around to get both kids ready for day care. My son decided he wanted to dilly dally and refuse to eat the breakfast he asked me for the minute he got up, so my patience was being tested. However, now that everyone has left and I am sitting here having my breakfast, I am hoping that today turns out to be productive.
All that to bring me to the post I started to draft for yesterday, but was too tired to finish then:
Monday, March 11
Today was one of those days that just started as an "off" day. I don't know about you, but "springing forward" threw us for a bit of a loop the last couple days. I jumped up this morning (although I specifically remember setting it last night, I do not have a clue about what happened to my alarm) in a complete fog (haven't been sleeping too well the last few nights) thinking it was 6:50 when it was actually 7:50, my husband had also gotten up late and was getting ready for work. I ran downstairs and still in a fog, tried to get my son's things at least somewhat ready for preschool then "ran" up the stairs to wake him up. Both kids went to bed pretty late last night; thankfully tonight wasn't as bad, but I had that baseline sense of frustration all day that I wasn't about to get a lot of work done.
My now 1 yr old daughter seems to be getting teeth in clusters; all of us have had some semblance of a cold in the last two weeks, so I couldn't tell if it was just the latter or the latter and the former. Since she is home with me on the days my son goes to preschool, I usually try to make the most of her nap time and I can sometimes get SOME "work" done when she is playing on the floor occupying herself. Long story short, today she only napped for 1.5 hours and was a bit fussy...so I only got maybe a total of 2 hours of "work" done. Most of it was reading for my comp exam, and yes, 2 hours is pretty good, but since I am usually able to get even a bit more done than that on the days I am home with her; since I had set the unofficial goal to get through my reading list by the end of the week, I did feel a bit disgruntled. I told my husband when he got home that I "didn't get a lot of work done today." Then, as the night when on and in the hustle bustle of dinner time, baths, snuggling DS and DD (dear/darling son and daughter), I reflected on that statement.
"I didn't get a lot of work done today."
Now, I have heard some moms and people in general balk at the idea that being a parent is a "job", as if "job" is a derogatory term. I also know that there are other reasons why people don't like to call it a job, but I've also heard people say that "being a parent is the hardest job I've ever had." Truly, it can be the most challenging, regardless of how challenging your field of academic study may be. Again, I think about the statement that I often find myself saying:
"I didn't get a lot of work done today."
What about all the time I spent holding, feeding, snuggling, changing, and playing with my daughter?
What about the 2 loads of laundry that got washed and dried while DD played for a few minutes, since my concentration to do academic work was thrown off?
What about the dinner I cooked (DH usually does this, mainly because he is just better and more efficient at it) since DH told me he might be home late?
What about the time I spent talking with DS as I picked him up from preschool; as I gave him a shower and read him a book; as I said prayers with him?
What about the various other things I did today that might not be considered "work" or even part of my "job" as a parent, but fulfill my other roles-- such as talking on the phone with my mother, who has been having a lot of problems lately?
This might all sound very trivial, because I'm sure many of you realized that when I said "I didn't get a lot of work done today", I meant ACADEMIC work, but the point I'm trying to make that is most likely stating the obvious is that we as student/academic parents need to accept that there are days that we just aren't going to get that academic work done-- whether we don't reach our goal in terms of time spent and/or tasks completed. There are days that these other tasks will take over, such as caring for a sick/teething baby/child; doing puzzles with your preschooler who has a snow day; taking over more domestic duties due to your partner's obligations, etc. Trust me, even yesterday itself I kept thinking that my life would be easier if only I could hire someone to help around the house, if only I could get more child care for DD on a regular basis, etc. I guess we just have to learn to be innovative to find other "time slots" to get our work done; I know many other academic moms who are probably 110% better at this (or most likely more) than I am. We just have to keep at the forefront of our minds, that we are doing a good job, even if there are days we feel like we can't be the best parent and/or student/instructor/professor/researcher, etc. Just think about all the tasks that you did today-- of course, we all have days that we just need a break, mentally and physically, or days when we are forced to take a break for various reasons. But think about it (let's look on the bright side!)-- think about all the roles you have to fulfill in your life-- parent, spouse, partner, friend, child, student, instructor, etc-- what did you do today, even the smallest task, to fulfill one or many of those roles? I am sure you will be able to say that you DID in fact "get a lot of work done today."
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