People might talk about reaching the point of "saturation" whilst collecting data. Right now, I am at the point of saturation in preparing for my comp exam! I bet there are other people out there who know what I mean. Have you ever been studying for an (more traditional, maybe multiple choice/short answer/essay) exam and you just can't study anymore, even if you feel like you should read something else, try to memorize something else, etc? That is me right now. I feel like I have a good handle on my reading list and some arguments that I am developing with respect to the literature. However, there were a few readings that I either didn't look at or didn't read closely (that happened to me with my last comp-- again, my list was too long then and is now). I'm just at the point where I can't do any more! I spoke with one of my exam committee members today. She thinks I will do fine; none of the questions will be a surprise; I won't be citing everything on my long list. Still. Maybe it will do my brain good to take (even at least a semi) break over this holiday weekend. Can't wait for 10 a.m., April 9th when this thing will be done!!!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Benefits of commiseration
Truly, I shouldn't be writing this post right now-- I should be compiling my notes in preparation for my 2nd (and LAST) comprehensive exam which begins on April 1st (oh how I wish we only had to do ONE comp exam-- I would have achieved candidacy well over a year ago). However, I guess I just wanted to reflect on this, partially as self-therapy since I am a ball of nerves this week.
I went to a regional conference this weekend which was close to my campus, about a 1.5 hr drive from where I live. Long story short, due to something I wanted to take my son to on Sat. morning and just the fact that we left a lot later than planned, I only made it to one Sat. afternoon session and my early Sunday morning session (in which I did my own presentation). Nevertheless, this conference was beneficial as I received some good feedback on my presentation; I ran into two professors from my school; I felt great for having some adult interaction (no offense to my husband, but I am sure some of you moms out there who work from home can relate); and, I was able to commiserate with a few students about our common plight in the seemingly never ending process that characterizes PhD acquisition land. One student was from my program; I hadn't seen her in a long time and she also has 2 children. I told her about the stress over my upcoming comp exam, and how (due to that and several other reasons) I often talked about quitting to my husband. She concurred having similar sentiments but now having come this far, she can't quit and has just been moving ahead in working on her dissertation proposal. I also spoke with another grad student who presented in my session; we spent about a half an hour talking after the session about issues related to funding, the time it takes to do research for the dissertation, and how we need to get out of our minds that the dissertation does not have to be the best and most awesome project we've ever done. Rather, we just need to finish. The latter is an issue I have grappled with for numerous reasons (especially reasons related to the logistics of conducting qualitative research with two small children-- which has led me to modify the direction I am thinking of going with my diss.project). However, the bottom line is that I felt better having been able to commiserate with fellow grad students. That is something I miss, since I am not on campus too much anymore. It is one thing to post a facebook status and to receive comments from fellow grad students, but it is another to vent with other students face-to-face and to have a more free flowing conversation with other people who can relate to you situation in one way or another and who can provide some sort of encouragement. I've also been grateful for some online communities and other blogs that have filled these gaps of in-person interaction with my cohort-mates and other students in my program.
Honestly, I am still feeling tense about this comp exam. Even though I have a vague idea of the potential questions, I still don't know what my exam committee is going to ask, hence I go between wanting to frantically compile detailed notes for various references to being unsure if this is a waste of my time because they might not ask anything related to a particular subarea. Part of me wants to e-mail a bunch of other students but what on earth would I say? It doesn't make sense. I might be posting one of those Facebook statuses soon.
I went to a regional conference this weekend which was close to my campus, about a 1.5 hr drive from where I live. Long story short, due to something I wanted to take my son to on Sat. morning and just the fact that we left a lot later than planned, I only made it to one Sat. afternoon session and my early Sunday morning session (in which I did my own presentation). Nevertheless, this conference was beneficial as I received some good feedback on my presentation; I ran into two professors from my school; I felt great for having some adult interaction (no offense to my husband, but I am sure some of you moms out there who work from home can relate); and, I was able to commiserate with a few students about our common plight in the seemingly never ending process that characterizes PhD acquisition land. One student was from my program; I hadn't seen her in a long time and she also has 2 children. I told her about the stress over my upcoming comp exam, and how (due to that and several other reasons) I often talked about quitting to my husband. She concurred having similar sentiments but now having come this far, she can't quit and has just been moving ahead in working on her dissertation proposal. I also spoke with another grad student who presented in my session; we spent about a half an hour talking after the session about issues related to funding, the time it takes to do research for the dissertation, and how we need to get out of our minds that the dissertation does not have to be the best and most awesome project we've ever done. Rather, we just need to finish. The latter is an issue I have grappled with for numerous reasons (especially reasons related to the logistics of conducting qualitative research with two small children-- which has led me to modify the direction I am thinking of going with my diss.project). However, the bottom line is that I felt better having been able to commiserate with fellow grad students. That is something I miss, since I am not on campus too much anymore. It is one thing to post a facebook status and to receive comments from fellow grad students, but it is another to vent with other students face-to-face and to have a more free flowing conversation with other people who can relate to you situation in one way or another and who can provide some sort of encouragement. I've also been grateful for some online communities and other blogs that have filled these gaps of in-person interaction with my cohort-mates and other students in my program.
Honestly, I am still feeling tense about this comp exam. Even though I have a vague idea of the potential questions, I still don't know what my exam committee is going to ask, hence I go between wanting to frantically compile detailed notes for various references to being unsure if this is a waste of my time because they might not ask anything related to a particular subarea. Part of me wants to e-mail a bunch of other students but what on earth would I say? It doesn't make sense. I might be posting one of those Facebook statuses soon.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
One of those mornings
Ugh. I must say, even after growing up in the "north" of the U.S., I have a limited tolerance for snow. I had originally planned to travel to campus today to meet with 2 professors about my comp exam, but alas, we got another winter storm. Since it took forever for everyone else to leave the house this morning; I'm not too positive that the road conditions for the 85 mile drive will be great; I probably wouldn't be able to leave until close to 11 a.m. and would probably get there just in time for my meetings and then have to spend 2 hours driving back-- I decided not to go. Let's hope I can chat with my professors on the phone this week!
This morning was one of those mornings. My 3 year old DS started out the morning fine, but was not being very cooperative as I was simultaneously trying to get DD dressed and ready. One of those mornings-- one mess after another, refusing to get dressed, having an accident after sitting on the toilet, etc etc. At one point I did lose my patience and yell. I've really been trying to be better about this and keep the right perspective, but honestly, at 9:30 a.m. I felt like it should already be 5:30 p.m. I guess waking up feel tired doesn't help, since I've been staying up later the last few days to get work done; I've also not been sleeping too well. Hence, I'm taking a "break" right now to reflect and get the right frame of mind back. I apologized to my son before he left this morning. I've been reminded a devotional book I read the other day which is set up for Lent (we are Christians; honestly this year with all else going on I have not made the time that I would like each day to reflect). The story for the day focused on an elderly man who recently lost his wife. She always had dreams to travel here and there, do this and that throughout the life, but they kept making excuses why they couldn't do any of those things. The elderly man was filled with regret after his wife's passing as a result of this.
I also think of so many other things that have happened around the world, especially in the last few months. How could we forget what happened at Newtown, CT. I don't want the stresses of academic work among other things impact my level of patience with my kids. Of course, none of us are perfect. However, I guess one thing that has struck me late in this season of Lent is to make the most of my time with my kids. Honestly, it is difficult, especially on the days I am home with DD and DS is at preschool. But, it is getting to the point where I can't really do much work when she is awake anyways, so I try to do even small things with her-- like read a book, show her how to do a little puzzle; something. I took DS on a little "date" this past Saturday. It was nice to spend time with him one-on-one for a couple of hours. And of course, we can't leave our partners out of this, although with the craziness of life that often happens. I have to take my own advice with this!
This morning was one of those mornings. My 3 year old DS started out the morning fine, but was not being very cooperative as I was simultaneously trying to get DD dressed and ready. One of those mornings-- one mess after another, refusing to get dressed, having an accident after sitting on the toilet, etc etc. At one point I did lose my patience and yell. I've really been trying to be better about this and keep the right perspective, but honestly, at 9:30 a.m. I felt like it should already be 5:30 p.m. I guess waking up feel tired doesn't help, since I've been staying up later the last few days to get work done; I've also not been sleeping too well. Hence, I'm taking a "break" right now to reflect and get the right frame of mind back. I apologized to my son before he left this morning. I've been reminded a devotional book I read the other day which is set up for Lent (we are Christians; honestly this year with all else going on I have not made the time that I would like each day to reflect). The story for the day focused on an elderly man who recently lost his wife. She always had dreams to travel here and there, do this and that throughout the life, but they kept making excuses why they couldn't do any of those things. The elderly man was filled with regret after his wife's passing as a result of this.
I also think of so many other things that have happened around the world, especially in the last few months. How could we forget what happened at Newtown, CT. I don't want the stresses of academic work among other things impact my level of patience with my kids. Of course, none of us are perfect. However, I guess one thing that has struck me late in this season of Lent is to make the most of my time with my kids. Honestly, it is difficult, especially on the days I am home with DD and DS is at preschool. But, it is getting to the point where I can't really do much work when she is awake anyways, so I try to do even small things with her-- like read a book, show her how to do a little puzzle; something. I took DS on a little "date" this past Saturday. It was nice to spend time with him one-on-one for a couple of hours. And of course, we can't leave our partners out of this, although with the craziness of life that often happens. I have to take my own advice with this!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Anxieties
It seems like I tend to gravitate towards writing here on the 2 days that I have day care for both children (aka "day care days"). I wish that I could always keep the perspective I wrote about a couple of days ago. However, I have been having some "anxieties". I guess yesterday got thrown off a bit since I had a doctor's appointment and DD was a bit fussy in the afternoon (again, the persistent cold we've all had, plus teething, etc); I did read a little later at night but I was just too tired to do the amount that I had hoped. Now, enter today, and I'm hoping to make more progress (yet again) but I guess I just need to vent (don't we all!)
-- Frankly, I'm really worried about this comp exam, moreso than the last one. I guess there are any number of reasons-- this literature is all over the place; I have no idea what kinds of questions they are going to ask me (hopefully that will be illuminated when I meet with the chair of my exam committee next week); once again, my reading list remained too long but I felt like I had to get through at least parts of every book/article; I haven't been able to meet in person with 2 members of my committee since last semester since I live far from campus and meeting times haven't worked out (yet, when I reflect on this, I know other students who actually live OUT OF THE COUNTRY while preparing for comps and still do it-- I don't know, but something about the face-to-face contact helps me, especially since I don't know these profs as well as others and I chose them due to the similaritie between their research interests and my own); even though I feel like I have a good handle on the literature as a whole and have some ideas of how I would like to integrate/challenge what I am reading into a potential dissertation project-- I just feel anxious.
-- Even though I am blessed to have an RA-ship that has been flexible and the main project I've been working on for it is on hold until next month, I feel guilty that I haven't been putting much time into RA-related work as I prepare for comps (mostly due to limited child care). Although the main project is on hold, I am working on 2 conference papers related to the data we've collected, but even my work on those papers has been minimal the past few weeks. Oh, and I have to present one of them next weekend!!??!! At any rate, for that I don't have to submit a paper, so I will just be presenting preliminary analyses, but still-- I have to devote a few hours to that in the next few days or else it will prove difficult by the end of next week.
-- Some days I just want to spend time with my kids (oh yes, and my husband-- we were lucky to get 2 dates in the last 6 months; even those were rushed due to imminent snow storms) without the PhD cloud hanging overhead. Yesterday, when DD was fussy, I was about to just take her outside for a walk since it was unseasonably warm and sunny out, but alas she feel asleep. I want to do a mini egg hunt and easter egg coloring with DS this weekend; I don't want to make it rushed. Well, I WILL do that then, and I will have to be disciplined to get work done later on.
-- In reflecting on my comps reading, I am realizing that I am scared of the "dissertation phase." Although one of my profs keeps telling me not to worry about logistics, I am. How am I going to do the research? What are my main questions going to be? Again, how am I going to do the research/travel, etc, with limited child care, limited funds? I know I can apply for grants, but I've been hard pressed to find diss research grants that are flexible with what I am hoping to do-- not to mention, since I changed what I was going to do in the last few months (another story there), I still have yet to formulate a solid proposal that even has the potential to be submitted as a grant application. The dissertation phase is a full time job in itself. I know other students who work full time whilst dissertating, however, most of the time (from what I've seen), their job is their base research site. My husband and I had a discussion a couple weeks ago when he e-mailed me info about a few non-tenure track, temporary teaching jobs (yes, full time). I told him there was no way I could do that and make any progress on my dissertation proposal-- let alone my dissertation. Yes, I will be teaching part time in the Fall, but full time, no. Again, the questions of funds, direction, methodology, time-- keep swirling in my mind. And, just the plain overall anxiety of being an independent researcher. Yikes.
-- I want to get published within the next year. I have those 2 conference paper which might have potential, yes, plus another one that was accepted at a national conference. The latter paper is a bit "older", but may have potential. Again, the question of time management comes in, and the anxieties which go along with that.
I remember telling my husband even before we had children that I didn't know how I could handle doing the work for grad school with children. I've always been a perfectionist with school work, but I had to learn fast that it is difficult to do so when children arrive!! I've still managed to get things done in reasonable amounts of time, but we all know that in graduate school especially, there is always something hanging overhead.
-- Frankly, I'm really worried about this comp exam, moreso than the last one. I guess there are any number of reasons-- this literature is all over the place; I have no idea what kinds of questions they are going to ask me (hopefully that will be illuminated when I meet with the chair of my exam committee next week); once again, my reading list remained too long but I felt like I had to get through at least parts of every book/article; I haven't been able to meet in person with 2 members of my committee since last semester since I live far from campus and meeting times haven't worked out (yet, when I reflect on this, I know other students who actually live OUT OF THE COUNTRY while preparing for comps and still do it-- I don't know, but something about the face-to-face contact helps me, especially since I don't know these profs as well as others and I chose them due to the similaritie between their research interests and my own); even though I feel like I have a good handle on the literature as a whole and have some ideas of how I would like to integrate/challenge what I am reading into a potential dissertation project-- I just feel anxious.
-- Even though I am blessed to have an RA-ship that has been flexible and the main project I've been working on for it is on hold until next month, I feel guilty that I haven't been putting much time into RA-related work as I prepare for comps (mostly due to limited child care). Although the main project is on hold, I am working on 2 conference papers related to the data we've collected, but even my work on those papers has been minimal the past few weeks. Oh, and I have to present one of them next weekend!!??!! At any rate, for that I don't have to submit a paper, so I will just be presenting preliminary analyses, but still-- I have to devote a few hours to that in the next few days or else it will prove difficult by the end of next week.
-- Some days I just want to spend time with my kids (oh yes, and my husband-- we were lucky to get 2 dates in the last 6 months; even those were rushed due to imminent snow storms) without the PhD cloud hanging overhead. Yesterday, when DD was fussy, I was about to just take her outside for a walk since it was unseasonably warm and sunny out, but alas she feel asleep. I want to do a mini egg hunt and easter egg coloring with DS this weekend; I don't want to make it rushed. Well, I WILL do that then, and I will have to be disciplined to get work done later on.
-- In reflecting on my comps reading, I am realizing that I am scared of the "dissertation phase." Although one of my profs keeps telling me not to worry about logistics, I am. How am I going to do the research? What are my main questions going to be? Again, how am I going to do the research/travel, etc, with limited child care, limited funds? I know I can apply for grants, but I've been hard pressed to find diss research grants that are flexible with what I am hoping to do-- not to mention, since I changed what I was going to do in the last few months (another story there), I still have yet to formulate a solid proposal that even has the potential to be submitted as a grant application. The dissertation phase is a full time job in itself. I know other students who work full time whilst dissertating, however, most of the time (from what I've seen), their job is their base research site. My husband and I had a discussion a couple weeks ago when he e-mailed me info about a few non-tenure track, temporary teaching jobs (yes, full time). I told him there was no way I could do that and make any progress on my dissertation proposal-- let alone my dissertation. Yes, I will be teaching part time in the Fall, but full time, no. Again, the questions of funds, direction, methodology, time-- keep swirling in my mind. And, just the plain overall anxiety of being an independent researcher. Yikes.
-- I want to get published within the next year. I have those 2 conference paper which might have potential, yes, plus another one that was accepted at a national conference. The latter paper is a bit "older", but may have potential. Again, the question of time management comes in, and the anxieties which go along with that.
I remember telling my husband even before we had children that I didn't know how I could handle doing the work for grad school with children. I've always been a perfectionist with school work, but I had to learn fast that it is difficult to do so when children arrive!! I've still managed to get things done in reasonable amounts of time, but we all know that in graduate school especially, there is always something hanging overhead.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Article on being a student-parent
I've seen many articles similar to this; wanted to share the link:
Being a student-parent not child's play
Being a student-parent not child's play
"I didn't get a lot of work done today"
For various reasons, I feel like I've been moving in a bit of a slow motion in the past week. I guess having a cold, having one child (and possibly now both children) with similar said cold, having husband's friend visit in the middle of the week, having a snow day on Friday, and just feeling plain exhausted altogether by the weekend can add to all that. Of course, there are also the sundry emotions that we as grad student parents might go through during the course of the week for different reasons-- such as the classic frustration that there is just not enough time to get through our academic to do list; guilt after dropping off your son at day care (husband usually does this) and waiting there for 30 minutes while he screamed and cried because he wanted daddy and his friend who was visiting to drop him off (yet daddy had to drop his friend at the bus station, since he was leaving, which made it worse for DS (dear son)), and then learning later that morning that he cried for an additional 45 minutes; confusion over what tasks to prioritize and whether or not to waste 1-2 days in the next 2 weeks to make face to face contact with your comp committee on campus (2 hour drive each way) before you have to write said exam the first week of April-- not to mention you are very underprepared for a conference presentation set to take place in a week and half.....
Ok, I apologize for my ramblings, but I think at one time or another we can all relate. I want to try to keep my posts as positive and encouraging as possible, but we all must admit that there are times we just feel "blah" (have I said that before?). Even if quitting has never crossed your mind, I am sure you can relate to that feeling, to which people from various standpoints can attach a variety of meanings and emotions. Well, I guess that is how I feel today-- and of course this daylight savings time has just been one added smidgen to throw things off a bit. For the second day in a row we got up late (despite my setting 2 alarms) and I was trying to rush around to get both kids ready for day care. My son decided he wanted to dilly dally and refuse to eat the breakfast he asked me for the minute he got up, so my patience was being tested. However, now that everyone has left and I am sitting here having my breakfast, I am hoping that today turns out to be productive.
All that to bring me to the post I started to draft for yesterday, but was too tired to finish then:
Monday, March 11
Today was one of those days that just started as an "off" day. I don't know about you, but "springing forward" threw us for a bit of a loop the last couple days. I jumped up this morning (although I specifically remember setting it last night, I do not have a clue about what happened to my alarm) in a complete fog (haven't been sleeping too well the last few nights) thinking it was 6:50 when it was actually 7:50, my husband had also gotten up late and was getting ready for work. I ran downstairs and still in a fog, tried to get my son's things at least somewhat ready for preschool then "ran" up the stairs to wake him up. Both kids went to bed pretty late last night; thankfully tonight wasn't as bad, but I had that baseline sense of frustration all day that I wasn't about to get a lot of work done.
My now 1 yr old daughter seems to be getting teeth in clusters; all of us have had some semblance of a cold in the last two weeks, so I couldn't tell if it was just the latter or the latter and the former. Since she is home with me on the days my son goes to preschool, I usually try to make the most of her nap time and I can sometimes get SOME "work" done when she is playing on the floor occupying herself. Long story short, today she only napped for 1.5 hours and was a bit fussy...so I only got maybe a total of 2 hours of "work" done. Most of it was reading for my comp exam, and yes, 2 hours is pretty good, but since I am usually able to get even a bit more done than that on the days I am home with her; since I had set the unofficial goal to get through my reading list by the end of the week, I did feel a bit disgruntled. I told my husband when he got home that I "didn't get a lot of work done today." Then, as the night when on and in the hustle bustle of dinner time, baths, snuggling DS and DD (dear/darling son and daughter), I reflected on that statement.
"I didn't get a lot of work done today."
Now, I have heard some moms and people in general balk at the idea that being a parent is a "job", as if "job" is a derogatory term. I also know that there are other reasons why people don't like to call it a job, but I've also heard people say that "being a parent is the hardest job I've ever had." Truly, it can be the most challenging, regardless of how challenging your field of academic study may be. Again, I think about the statement that I often find myself saying:
"I didn't get a lot of work done today."
What about all the time I spent holding, feeding, snuggling, changing, and playing with my daughter?
What about the 2 loads of laundry that got washed and dried while DD played for a few minutes, since my concentration to do academic work was thrown off?
What about the dinner I cooked (DH usually does this, mainly because he is just better and more efficient at it) since DH told me he might be home late?
What about the time I spent talking with DS as I picked him up from preschool; as I gave him a shower and read him a book; as I said prayers with him?
What about the various other things I did today that might not be considered "work" or even part of my "job" as a parent, but fulfill my other roles-- such as talking on the phone with my mother, who has been having a lot of problems lately?
This might all sound very trivial, because I'm sure many of you realized that when I said "I didn't get a lot of work done today", I meant ACADEMIC work, but the point I'm trying to make that is most likely stating the obvious is that we as student/academic parents need to accept that there are days that we just aren't going to get that academic work done-- whether we don't reach our goal in terms of time spent and/or tasks completed. There are days that these other tasks will take over, such as caring for a sick/teething baby/child; doing puzzles with your preschooler who has a snow day; taking over more domestic duties due to your partner's obligations, etc. Trust me, even yesterday itself I kept thinking that my life would be easier if only I could hire someone to help around the house, if only I could get more child care for DD on a regular basis, etc. I guess we just have to learn to be innovative to find other "time slots" to get our work done; I know many other academic moms who are probably 110% better at this (or most likely more) than I am. We just have to keep at the forefront of our minds, that we are doing a good job, even if there are days we feel like we can't be the best parent and/or student/instructor/professor/researcher, etc. Just think about all the tasks that you did today-- of course, we all have days that we just need a break, mentally and physically, or days when we are forced to take a break for various reasons. But think about it (let's look on the bright side!)-- think about all the roles you have to fulfill in your life-- parent, spouse, partner, friend, child, student, instructor, etc-- what did you do today, even the smallest task, to fulfill one or many of those roles? I am sure you will be able to say that you DID in fact "get a lot of work done today."
Ok, I apologize for my ramblings, but I think at one time or another we can all relate. I want to try to keep my posts as positive and encouraging as possible, but we all must admit that there are times we just feel "blah" (have I said that before?). Even if quitting has never crossed your mind, I am sure you can relate to that feeling, to which people from various standpoints can attach a variety of meanings and emotions. Well, I guess that is how I feel today-- and of course this daylight savings time has just been one added smidgen to throw things off a bit. For the second day in a row we got up late (despite my setting 2 alarms) and I was trying to rush around to get both kids ready for day care. My son decided he wanted to dilly dally and refuse to eat the breakfast he asked me for the minute he got up, so my patience was being tested. However, now that everyone has left and I am sitting here having my breakfast, I am hoping that today turns out to be productive.
All that to bring me to the post I started to draft for yesterday, but was too tired to finish then:
Monday, March 11
Today was one of those days that just started as an "off" day. I don't know about you, but "springing forward" threw us for a bit of a loop the last couple days. I jumped up this morning (although I specifically remember setting it last night, I do not have a clue about what happened to my alarm) in a complete fog (haven't been sleeping too well the last few nights) thinking it was 6:50 when it was actually 7:50, my husband had also gotten up late and was getting ready for work. I ran downstairs and still in a fog, tried to get my son's things at least somewhat ready for preschool then "ran" up the stairs to wake him up. Both kids went to bed pretty late last night; thankfully tonight wasn't as bad, but I had that baseline sense of frustration all day that I wasn't about to get a lot of work done.
My now 1 yr old daughter seems to be getting teeth in clusters; all of us have had some semblance of a cold in the last two weeks, so I couldn't tell if it was just the latter or the latter and the former. Since she is home with me on the days my son goes to preschool, I usually try to make the most of her nap time and I can sometimes get SOME "work" done when she is playing on the floor occupying herself. Long story short, today she only napped for 1.5 hours and was a bit fussy...so I only got maybe a total of 2 hours of "work" done. Most of it was reading for my comp exam, and yes, 2 hours is pretty good, but since I am usually able to get even a bit more done than that on the days I am home with her; since I had set the unofficial goal to get through my reading list by the end of the week, I did feel a bit disgruntled. I told my husband when he got home that I "didn't get a lot of work done today." Then, as the night when on and in the hustle bustle of dinner time, baths, snuggling DS and DD (dear/darling son and daughter), I reflected on that statement.
"I didn't get a lot of work done today."
Now, I have heard some moms and people in general balk at the idea that being a parent is a "job", as if "job" is a derogatory term. I also know that there are other reasons why people don't like to call it a job, but I've also heard people say that "being a parent is the hardest job I've ever had." Truly, it can be the most challenging, regardless of how challenging your field of academic study may be. Again, I think about the statement that I often find myself saying:
"I didn't get a lot of work done today."
What about all the time I spent holding, feeding, snuggling, changing, and playing with my daughter?
What about the 2 loads of laundry that got washed and dried while DD played for a few minutes, since my concentration to do academic work was thrown off?
What about the dinner I cooked (DH usually does this, mainly because he is just better and more efficient at it) since DH told me he might be home late?
What about the time I spent talking with DS as I picked him up from preschool; as I gave him a shower and read him a book; as I said prayers with him?
What about the various other things I did today that might not be considered "work" or even part of my "job" as a parent, but fulfill my other roles-- such as talking on the phone with my mother, who has been having a lot of problems lately?
This might all sound very trivial, because I'm sure many of you realized that when I said "I didn't get a lot of work done today", I meant ACADEMIC work, but the point I'm trying to make that is most likely stating the obvious is that we as student/academic parents need to accept that there are days that we just aren't going to get that academic work done-- whether we don't reach our goal in terms of time spent and/or tasks completed. There are days that these other tasks will take over, such as caring for a sick/teething baby/child; doing puzzles with your preschooler who has a snow day; taking over more domestic duties due to your partner's obligations, etc. Trust me, even yesterday itself I kept thinking that my life would be easier if only I could hire someone to help around the house, if only I could get more child care for DD on a regular basis, etc. I guess we just have to learn to be innovative to find other "time slots" to get our work done; I know many other academic moms who are probably 110% better at this (or most likely more) than I am. We just have to keep at the forefront of our minds, that we are doing a good job, even if there are days we feel like we can't be the best parent and/or student/instructor/professor/researcher, etc. Just think about all the tasks that you did today-- of course, we all have days that we just need a break, mentally and physically, or days when we are forced to take a break for various reasons. But think about it (let's look on the bright side!)-- think about all the roles you have to fulfill in your life-- parent, spouse, partner, friend, child, student, instructor, etc-- what did you do today, even the smallest task, to fulfill one or many of those roles? I am sure you will be able to say that you DID in fact "get a lot of work done today."
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Quotes from my comp reading
I know that some who might read this blog are not within the social sciences, but I wanted to share some interesting/insightful/helpful in any number of ways/thought provoking regardless of your academic-political stance from my comp exam reading. I guess that I can update this post periodically-- not sure how to make a widget and all of that,but I just wanted to start with a couple:
"Postmodernism has us accepting the reifications and partitionings, actually
celebrating the activity of masking and cover-up, all the fetishisms
of locality, place, or social grouping, while denying the kind of metatheory
which can grasp the political-economic processes (money flows,
international divisions of labour, financial markets, and the like) that are
becoming ever more universalizing in their depth, intensity, reach, and
power over daily life" (David Harvey, 1990, The Condition of Postmodernity, p. 117)
"Why is this particular age characterized by disjuncture? And where
and how does the laborer become a reimagined subject in this moment
of disjuncture? How might we begin to trace the trajectory of the victims
of capital in their respective epochs? For instance, how may we
theorize the disjuncture experienced by the Chinese cockle pickers
who drowned in Morecombe Bay in the spring of 2004 alongside the
traumatic disjuncture endured by the eighteenth-centuryWest African
slaves who were thrown overboard by their captors? What of the millions
who died in the Bengal famine of 1943 and the many thousands
who die today in preventable famines in sub-Saharan Africa? Where
are the links? Where are the discontinuities? Capitalist structures,
whether they take shape through uneven development or endless
war, have consistently resulted in severe moments of disjuncture for
millions across the globe. After all, capital’s historic task has been to
reinforce divisive structures that operate across boundaries. The enshrinement
of disjuncture as a symptom of the new in itself does not
address the complexity of these historical associations" (Kanishka Chowdury, 2006, "Interrogating 'Newness': Globalization and Postcolonial Theory in the Age of Endless War" in Cultural Critique, pgs. 136-137).
"Indeed, to a large extent the question of whether time as brought us closer to human integration depends on how one interprets the history of conquest, slavery, and colonialism. I favor an interpretation that stresses the dialectics of these episodes: empire and emancipation have been an intricate historical interplay (chapter 4). Culture contact, in the end is a matter of collusion and not simply collision (Dathorne 1996)." (Jan Nederveen Pieterse, 2004, Globalization and Culture: Global Melange, pg. 26).
"Postmodernism has us accepting the reifications and partitionings, actually
celebrating the activity of masking and cover-up, all the fetishisms
of locality, place, or social grouping, while denying the kind of metatheory
which can grasp the political-economic processes (money flows,
international divisions of labour, financial markets, and the like) that are
becoming ever more universalizing in their depth, intensity, reach, and
power over daily life" (David Harvey, 1990, The Condition of Postmodernity, p. 117)
"Why is this particular age characterized by disjuncture? And where
and how does the laborer become a reimagined subject in this moment
of disjuncture? How might we begin to trace the trajectory of the victims
of capital in their respective epochs? For instance, how may we
theorize the disjuncture experienced by the Chinese cockle pickers
who drowned in Morecombe Bay in the spring of 2004 alongside the
traumatic disjuncture endured by the eighteenth-centuryWest African
slaves who were thrown overboard by their captors? What of the millions
who died in the Bengal famine of 1943 and the many thousands
who die today in preventable famines in sub-Saharan Africa? Where
are the links? Where are the discontinuities? Capitalist structures,
whether they take shape through uneven development or endless
war, have consistently resulted in severe moments of disjuncture for
millions across the globe. After all, capital’s historic task has been to
reinforce divisive structures that operate across boundaries. The enshrinement
of disjuncture as a symptom of the new in itself does not
address the complexity of these historical associations" (Kanishka Chowdury, 2006, "Interrogating 'Newness': Globalization and Postcolonial Theory in the Age of Endless War" in Cultural Critique, pgs. 136-137).
"Indeed, to a large extent the question of whether time as brought us closer to human integration depends on how one interprets the history of conquest, slavery, and colonialism. I favor an interpretation that stresses the dialectics of these episodes: empire and emancipation have been an intricate historical interplay (chapter 4). Culture contact, in the end is a matter of collusion and not simply collision (Dathorne 1996)." (Jan Nederveen Pieterse, 2004, Globalization and Culture: Global Melange, pg. 26).
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