Be kind to yourself, as my colleague says

I've drafted many posts in the past 2 weeks, but decided to keep them mostly as a personal journal.  The holidays were good, and I did end up taking a few days break here and there, but it also wasn't a complete break (even from dealing with students and ongoing assignments).  Of course, I worked on my dissertation, but I didn't end up achieving my goals.  I had already pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I was going to postpone my defense, but I still feel somewhat of a loss of morale.  I also feel like in the process, I lost a few days that I could have spent with my family.  I know that this comes with the package of trying to finish a dissertation, but at a time when I look forward to it, it pretty much stunk.

A couple things just keep standing out to me.  1) I have sought advice from many different people, blogs, websites,  etc.  Yes, much of it has been greatly helpful, but I have to keep one thing in mind (and you should, too).  I am a unique individual, and what works for other people might not work for me, and that is fine.  Some people might be able to write all weekend, but I have to teach on many weekends, and I often have other responsibilities.  Also, my husband is in academics, which makes certain times less flexible than it would for other people.  In addition, I struggle many times with anxiety (and lingering depression at other times), and although I would be considered very "high functioning", I still need to keep a check on myself.  Accordingly, I am trying to balance a new tenure-track position, with growing expectations (whereby many weeks I work 6 days), with writing this thing.  And, especially in reflecting on the difficulties I experienced just this morning-- kids.  Not everyone's kids are the same and go through the same things at the same time.  Some kids get sick constantly and need more care.  Other kids (like mine lately) have behavioral issues that can be draining at times.   These are just a few things that come to mind when I think of this point.  2) The world isn't going to come crashing down if *I* take a few extra months to finish and defend.  I finally broached this topic more pointedly with my husband who, understandably, just wants to see me finish for my own overall health.  I explained that I felt my overall health would suffer if I tried to push myself over the edge this semester. 

The bottom line is, we can be our own worst enemies sometimes, but we need to reflect on what is best for ourselves.  No one else can look inward as best as we can.