Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Guilty pleasures (aka distractions/stress relievers)

My son's preschool was closed last week for February vacation, so we (some might say, insanely) drove down to Florida from where we live in the "North."  Right now, I am very much missing the sunshine and summer temperatures.  Also, right now I should really be focusing on making up for the work hours I lost last week (although the time I spent in place of those with my family were undoubtedly well worth it)-- reading for my comprehensive exam and working on my conference paper.  However, I've spent a few minutes dabbling in one of my "guilty pleasures"-- which I will conceptualize as a stress-relieving distraction that I also feel guilty (at times) spending time on. 
My guilty pleasure in this sense is Hindi language serials (soap operas).  In all honesty, there are a couple right now that I am very addicted to, and it goes in waves.  There have been a number of shows that I have swooned over; when those have ended I always swear that I will not get hooked on another show.  Well, er, that often doesn't happen. 
Since the episodes air in India before we are able to see them in the U.S., I will often go on to one of the Indian television forums to get a sneak peak of what happened.  There are often lively discussions on those forums about the show-- hopeful predictions about the story line, love triangles between the leads, etc that provide a fun distraction as well.  In all honesty, sometimes I wish I could discipline myself to break this addiction so that I can have that extra hour every weeknight to do my work, but the nature of the distraction itself is often more interesting to me at 9:30/10 p.m. than my academic reading.  I have been trying to read for a while after watching my shows; some days that works out while other days it doesn't.  I guess we all need a break sometimes....and since my research is focused on South Asia and the South Asian diaspora in general, I feel like in a way it is related (haha).  I only wish I could say that I am more proficient in Hindi now than I was 3 years ago, but unfortunately that is not the case.  That is another goal I set for the new year that I have yet to progress on!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The U.S. and its (completely, utterly) insufficient family/medical leave policies--The Motherhood Manifesto documentary

Along with my random thoughts, rants, vents etc about grad school and related issues, I wanted to also post interesting resources and information about other issues that I care (very much) about on this blog.

Below is a link to information about a great documentary entitled, The Motherhood Manifesto.  )This documentary is available in some libraries).  In a nutshell, it discusses how the U.S. is at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to family/medical leave policies; it does an excellent job of connecting this huge shortcoming to other social problems/issues.  I'm always saddened at how these issues are glossed over in elections and political debates.

http://www.momsrising.org/page/moms/film


The "unpredictabilities" of parenting!!!

A relative of mine, who has a daughter the same age as my son (3 years old), had a pretty eventful week in terms of the art projects her daughter decided to engage in when she wasn't looking.  To summarize the fun details (haha, well, maybe at first her reaction wasn't that), it resulted in the "glitterificiation" of an item she had just bought.  Truly, from what I have heard from several people now, the "terrible two's" is a misnomer, and 3 is actually more challenging (but also more fun since kids are more astute by that age) on a variety of fronts!!

Kids are definitely unpredictable.  My advisor has constantly told me, that without a doubt, the night before you have an important presentation, assignment due, etc, your child(ren) will get sick.  She is speaking from experience.  That has happened to me before; a few times I did have to ask for extensions on papers when I was in coursework.  Oftentimes, when these types of unexpected things happen, as a parent we just have to learn to function on less.  Whether that means less sleep, less preparation time, along with just overriding perfectionist tendencies to just get something done, or a combination of all of these things and others.  Lately, for me, it seems that the kids don't like sleep the night before one of my two "day care days" per week, so I just have to keep perspective, drink coffee (of course!), set some goals for the day and try to stick to it although I am (quite) tired.  Now, I am hoping and praying that during the week I have to write my second (and last!) comprehensive exam in a couple months (or maybe even less than that) they are healthy-- of course I pray that they stay healthy anyways, but I will have to craft a back-up plan if this is not the case!  A lot of these potential instances have also forced me to be more open with my professors, which in the end has only created better relationships with them and has take the pressure off of me a bit.  I know that this is unfortunately not the case in every field of study, but I feel that trying to be as honest as possible usually helps.

The bottom line is, parenting is unpredictable-- kids are unpredictable-- sometimes they pleasantly surprise us and make us laugh, other times it is a mountain of a mess that we have to tackle, but either way, I don't go a day (or even half of one) without my kids making me smile and without being thankful for them!  Parenting is definitely the most challenging task I've ever had, but it is well worth every moment!!!