Advice that I should take myself #2 (ok, some of this I actually have applied on various occasions)

I just came across this link and I can definitely say "amen" to it:

http://3monththesis.com/7-and-a-half-unconventional-tips-for-thesis-writers-and-phd-researchers/

Another point  I would like to make on this beautiful, unseasonably warm (especially compared to the horrible winter we've been having) day:

1.  Do cognitive behavioral therapy on yourself.  I need to do this today.  My husband took the kids out so that I could get my proposal draft done (or at least mostly done) since I told my chair I would get it to her by Monday.  Right now, I would rather go outside.  I would have rather gone with them since they went 2 hours away to a family member's birthday party.  However, I know that I need this time to get work done.  I didn't have as much time during the week because my son was off from school, both kids were sick for half the week, and I myself wasn't feeling to great.  Not to mention, I had to teach 4/5 days.  If I keep telling myself that I feel down because I couldn't go with them and because I really need to go outside and soak up some Vitamin D, I'll be less motivated.  I need to tell myself that I CAN do this, I CAN make progress today, and I WILL.  Maybe I can tell myself that if I get 2-3 solid hours of work done, I can go out and buy myself some much needed clothing with my Christmas gift cards, or even stomp around for a few minutes in the melting snow outside to soak up some rays (making sure that I'm not clobbered by snow and ice sliding off the roof). As a PhD student, I can't go outside ALL day on every single nice day.  Sometimes the schedule just works out that way, and it's ok.  Also, I can't keep telling myself that I feel guilty that my husband took the kids alone.  He's had weekend days and evenings where he's had to do work, so we have to make it work.

Advice that I should take myself #1

Well, it has (once again) been a crazy busy semester (I guess that's no surprise).  I'm teaching 2 classes at 2 different colleges-- one is a new prep for me and is turning out to be a little more work than I had originally planned (again, why am I surprised by that?  I shouldn't be).  The good news:  I got through one draft of my dissertation proposal, and have been in the process of editing that draft.  I've had to do some additional reading to strengthen certain sections of the proposal.  Unfortunately, most of my notes from that reading haven't made it into the proposal yet.  Can we say, crazy winter?  Between snow days and children's illnesses, I've gotten a bit thrown off.  I seriously think that I have some issues with concentration.  I'm one of those people who can't read (and comprehend) well with ANY background noise (TV, music, kids, etc).  Not to mention writing.  I used to be able to listen to music and write papers in undergrad...I honestly don't know what happened between then and now (well, it has been several years...).  I wish that I was one of those people who could go to a coffee shop, bookstore, or even library (well, the latter establishments are supposed to be quiet, but not always) and get a good amount of work done.  Anyways...I've already gotten thrown off from the original stuff I wanted to say by talking about how I get distracted.

As a means of holding myself accountable, I wanted to start doing some regular postings (not sure how I would define "regular" yet) entitled, "advice that I should take myself."  Much of these are going to fall into the realm of time management-- something I really need to get a better handle on.  So, here are a few of my random thoughts for the first post in this very informal series:

1.  Make YOUR academic work a priority.  If you are teaching as an adjunct instructor whilst working on any aspect of your dissertation (proposal, research, writing the final product), put your dissertation work first.  Of course, you have to prep for your class, but don't overdo it.  Give yourself a set amount of time each week and try not to exceed that time limit.  One of my advisors told me once that we often over prepare for class, and in the end all of that "over preparation" doesn't do us or the students any better.  Even when it comes to grading-- students will be anxious and ask about grades.  I usually try to get things back within a week, but sometimes I've had to increase that time limit due to various circumstances (size of the class, type of assignment, personal circumstances, other deadlines, etc).  I try to give them a rough estimate of when they can expect grades, but no one is perfect.  Some students will be less anxious and more understanding than others.  Some could honestly care less.  The whole point is, give your best time to your dissertation work, or comprehensive exam prep, or whatever you are working on at the time being in your program.  Try not to get aggravated or give too much emotional energy to demanding students.  Again, I am trying to work on this myself, and I need to take my own advice. 

2.  Try to use (or at least TRY) a time management program/technique.  I've heard quite a bit about the pomodoro (or tomato) technique.  I even downloaded an app on my phone for it.  Try to focus on specific tasks for a short amount of time (I think the pomodoro suggests 25 minutes) or maybe a few chunks of time before giving yourself a break/small reward.  Theoretically, this can help with issues related to distraction; may apps allow you to track your productivity over a longer period of time.  I'm still in the process of figuring out tasks related to my proposal that will fit into smaller time frames so that I am not overwhelmed by what I know should be the end product.  I've already been doing this with a part-time research job I am doing for one of my advisors, but I also need to increase my productivity with that. 

3.  Think of "odd" times throughout the day where you can fit work in.    This goes along with #2.  I admit, I have gotten away from this this semester between the snow days and sicknesses.  I've also just been feeling so dang tired in the evenings, not to mention all of the household duties, spending time with the kids, etc.  Ok, and the Olympics has been a distraction; there are 1 or 2 Hindi serials I like to watch at night.  However, I know that there are some tasks I could do after the kids go to bed that don't require as much concentration as fitting my reading notes into my proposal draft.  Can I update my references section while watching a show?  Can I search for some articles for my research job?  Alas, I know that I need to do this to make my time during the day less hectic, but it is hard. 

And of course, as I've mentioned before, I want to spend time with my family and it is hard to get much done anyways when everyone is home.  Needless to say, the weekends haven't been a good time for me to get much work done.  We always feel like we're playing catch up with everything else we have to do.  I'm going to have to figure something out soon, since we most likely won't be able to afford much child care in the summer and we might have to go back to sending DD part time in the fall.  That is another issue that has been stressing me out, especially since I am still scheduled to teach a class in the fall and I am hoping that I will be in the process of conducting my research by then, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.  For now, I really have to get to work!

To all dealing with ice and snow, stay safe and warm!!!

Recommended post on Get a Life, PhD

Please see this post on getalifephd.blogspot.com-- advice that I definitely need to take!

Get a Life, PhD: Do You Need to Go on an Information Diet?: Is it possible to have too much information? Could information overload be getting in the way of important tasks? I am a professor, a so...

The Dissertation Proposal--A Helpful Video!

Back to reality....

Well, our Christmas/winter break officially ends today.  Kids are back to preschool and day care, husband is back to work.  I should be starting my work right about....NOW, but I thought that I would digress before I even started to reflect on the break and try to get myself back in the frame of mind to do work.

In my last post, I vented about all the fun involved in grading final papers (uh, yes, that statement contains some sarcasm).  However, in the end (as many of us who have graded papers have experienced), I felt a huge sense of relief, and I realized that overall, the papers were pretty good.  I actually learned some things myself from reading various papers.  Many of the students did exceptional work.  I remember at the beginning when I was glancing over all of the papers, I dreaded what I was going to see when I really delved into them.  However, in many cases, I was pleasantly surprised.  As I write this, I think about how we might feel this way with so many other tasks in our lives, whether they be academic, household related or something else.  At the beginning, we see the task(s) before us as too daunting; we dread even beginning them for one reason or another.  Maybe we don't "feel" like doing it; maybe we know it is going to take a lot of time; maybe it is going to prevent us from doing other things that we enjoy and/or would just rather be doing at that point in time; maybe we don't have clear direction; etc.  I've been feeling that way with my dissertation proposal.  Even though I do have a better idea now than I did a couple of months ago, there are so many other things on my mind and tasks that I have do to that are preventing me from approaching it in a clear-headed manner. 

In an opposite sense, I began the break with a great deal of optimism.  I somehow thought that I would be able to complete certain household and academic tasks by the end of the break.  Well, I did get a few key household tasks done that had been bugging me for months on end.  However, I pretty much made NO progress on the academic front.  Well, I did end up finding out that I was hired to teach a course at another college; I talked at length with the head of the program about the course, but that was it.  I didn't get any work done on my proposal.  There were various reasons for this-- hardly any day care; husband had vacation days and it was really hard to get even a few hours alone to focus on anything; preparing for and celebrating Christmas; visiting family and friends either out of state or across the state; etc.  Of course, I was frustrated that I didn't take any steps towards finishing my proposal draft by the middle of this month.  However, as I look back on the break-- putting my frustration aside-- I see many of the positives.  I was extremely burnt out from teaching after I submitted all of my grades.  I couldn't even think straight that week, despite having day care.  I was exhausted.  I've also been having some health issues and had to wear a holter monitor (non-invasive cardiology test, akin to a 48-hour EKG) over New Years.  Honestly, I needed that break from academic work.  I will have to make up for it now, but I needed that time to rest (well, not all of it was restful, but you know what I mean); to spend time with my kids and my family.  That time is extremely valuable.  I needed some of those moments to just watch TV and "do nothing."  We aren't robots, but human beings who need time to recuperate and reflect.  I wish that we even had a few extra days of that break.  I'm missing them now.  However, I know that I need to quickly switch gears now and get back to reality.

No one gets it!

From the sea of persistent phone calls and e-mail from family members trying to plan for Christmas in two weeks (when we already know the plan, mind you) and/or saying "I don't know if you are DONE with work this week" to the students themselves, NO ONE GETS HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GRADE RESEARCH PAPERS (unless, of course, they have done it themselves at some point).  I have (well, now I "had" since I'm a little over halfway done) 55, 8-10 page papers.  I also had to grade a final exam.  On top of that, I had a 2 hour dentist appointment, doctor's appointments, an interview for an adjunct  instructor position, my son's Christmas program, among countless other domestic responsibilities so far this week. 

Sometimes I want to scream, "Just because I am not working in an office OUTSIDE of my home this week, it doesn't mean I'm not working far more hours than I am actually paid for with this grading!!!!"

In all honesty, I could go on and on about this issue, but I'm not feeling particularly articulate at this point since I have to get back to grading soon.   I just want to be done!!!!

Also, the idea that I am going to be "DONE" with work after I submit grades next Monday is a joke, since I have to finish a draft of my dissertation proposal by early January (I've barely begun).  AND....dear family and friends, I'm not being paid for that!!!!!

As stuff keeps getting piled on....

Hello!  Yes, I am still around, hanging on as the semester trudges on.  I can't tell you how many times I have drafted posts since my last post way back in the summer, only to refrain from hitting "publish" because I either didn't have the time to finish my thoughts or because I felt that the post was waaaay too much of a vent/whine/etc.  Anyways, I'm sure that we can all relate to those types of posts. 

I came to the realization a long time back that I took on way too much this semester.  A large part of it was out of financial necessity-- needing to pay bills (of course), continuation tuition (which really should be in the "bills" category), day care, etc etc etc.....  However, my original purpose for getting more child care has been all but squashed (but the semester isn't quite over yet, right??).  My life has been taken over by teaching and other miscellaneous jobs, and I've made very little progress on my dissertation proposal. 

There have been many days where I've purposed in my heart/mind and have actually written in my calendar that I would give the best part of my day to brainstorming about/outlining/reviewing additional literature for my proposal.  That did happen a few times.  However, there is always something else which takes over as more of an immediate priority, and it usually has to do with teaching.  You see, I've just come to the point where I can't get decent work done after 9 p.m.; my kids often don't go to bed until about 8:30 or 9.  I thought that daylight savings would help them go to bed even a little earlier, but it turns out that they decided to go to bed an hour LATER that weekend, so my original theory was debunked.  Along with this, I know that I won't be able to get anything done at all between 5 p.m. and 9 p.m.  Of course, there have been a few times where I really needed that time, and DH took care of the kids so that I could focus on getting stuff done.  However, I want to spend that time with my kids, and I'm often at the point by 5 p.m. where I need the break anyways!! DH can't always make dinner and do all of that, because he also has to prepare for his classes on some days.  All of this to say that if I NEED to get something done for the next day, which often involves course prep so I don't feel like I'm totally disorganized and mumbo jumboed (if that can be an adjective) during my 3 classes, I need to do it while the kids are in preschool/day care. 

However, you can imagine that I am very frustrated and disappointed with myself for not making the progress that I had hoped on my proposal.  Time is one part of it, but the other is that I keep fluctuating about my topic and the direction that I want to take with the research.  This is CONSTANTLY on my mind.  Just when I think I have it, I really don't have it, and I still don't feel this sense of surety about it.  I'm just hoping and praying that I can break ground with this soon.  I haven't been in touch with my advisors in a few weeks because of all this.  I feel that just when I feel that I need to spend several hours or even a whole day thinking and working on this, something else gets piled on.  It's like sitting at the foot of a stairwell and several people standing at the top keep throwing papers upon papers on you; because it is a more enclosed space it gets to the point where you are swimming in the papers, and you can't even see the people standing at the balcony above.  I know that many of my grad student or former grad student colleagues can relate to this.  And you know, it's not completely an issue of confidence, because every time I look over a recent dissertation I think to myself, "this isn't so bad, I can do this!" I can do it, but I really need to get the time, make the time, and make a solid decision about what I am going to do and how.  I'm finding that to be a bit difficult at this point in time.