Please see this post on getalifephd.blogspot.com-- advice that I definitely need to take!
Get a Life, PhD: Do You Need to Go on an Information Diet?: Is it possible to have too much information? Could information overload be getting in the way of important tasks? I am a professor, a so...
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Monday, January 6, 2014
Back to reality....
Well, our Christmas/winter break officially ends today. Kids are back to preschool and day care, husband is back to work. I should be starting my work right about....NOW, but I thought that I would digress before I even started to reflect on the break and try to get myself back in the frame of mind to do work.
In my last post, I vented about all the fun involved in grading final papers (uh, yes, that statement contains some sarcasm). However, in the end (as many of us who have graded papers have experienced), I felt a huge sense of relief, and I realized that overall, the papers were pretty good. I actually learned some things myself from reading various papers. Many of the students did exceptional work. I remember at the beginning when I was glancing over all of the papers, I dreaded what I was going to see when I really delved into them. However, in many cases, I was pleasantly surprised. As I write this, I think about how we might feel this way with so many other tasks in our lives, whether they be academic, household related or something else. At the beginning, we see the task(s) before us as too daunting; we dread even beginning them for one reason or another. Maybe we don't "feel" like doing it; maybe we know it is going to take a lot of time; maybe it is going to prevent us from doing other things that we enjoy and/or would just rather be doing at that point in time; maybe we don't have clear direction; etc. I've been feeling that way with my dissertation proposal. Even though I do have a better idea now than I did a couple of months ago, there are so many other things on my mind and tasks that I have do to that are preventing me from approaching it in a clear-headed manner.
In an opposite sense, I began the break with a great deal of optimism. I somehow thought that I would be able to complete certain household and academic tasks by the end of the break. Well, I did get a few key household tasks done that had been bugging me for months on end. However, I pretty much made NO progress on the academic front. Well, I did end up finding out that I was hired to teach a course at another college; I talked at length with the head of the program about the course, but that was it. I didn't get any work done on my proposal. There were various reasons for this-- hardly any day care; husband had vacation days and it was really hard to get even a few hours alone to focus on anything; preparing for and celebrating Christmas; visiting family and friends either out of state or across the state; etc. Of course, I was frustrated that I didn't take any steps towards finishing my proposal draft by the middle of this month. However, as I look back on the break-- putting my frustration aside-- I see many of the positives. I was extremely burnt out from teaching after I submitted all of my grades. I couldn't even think straight that week, despite having day care. I was exhausted. I've also been having some health issues and had to wear a holter monitor (non-invasive cardiology test, akin to a 48-hour EKG) over New Years. Honestly, I needed that break from academic work. I will have to make up for it now, but I needed that time to rest (well, not all of it was restful, but you know what I mean); to spend time with my kids and my family. That time is extremely valuable. I needed some of those moments to just watch TV and "do nothing." We aren't robots, but human beings who need time to recuperate and reflect. I wish that we even had a few extra days of that break. I'm missing them now. However, I know that I need to quickly switch gears now and get back to reality.
In my last post, I vented about all the fun involved in grading final papers (uh, yes, that statement contains some sarcasm). However, in the end (as many of us who have graded papers have experienced), I felt a huge sense of relief, and I realized that overall, the papers were pretty good. I actually learned some things myself from reading various papers. Many of the students did exceptional work. I remember at the beginning when I was glancing over all of the papers, I dreaded what I was going to see when I really delved into them. However, in many cases, I was pleasantly surprised. As I write this, I think about how we might feel this way with so many other tasks in our lives, whether they be academic, household related or something else. At the beginning, we see the task(s) before us as too daunting; we dread even beginning them for one reason or another. Maybe we don't "feel" like doing it; maybe we know it is going to take a lot of time; maybe it is going to prevent us from doing other things that we enjoy and/or would just rather be doing at that point in time; maybe we don't have clear direction; etc. I've been feeling that way with my dissertation proposal. Even though I do have a better idea now than I did a couple of months ago, there are so many other things on my mind and tasks that I have do to that are preventing me from approaching it in a clear-headed manner.
In an opposite sense, I began the break with a great deal of optimism. I somehow thought that I would be able to complete certain household and academic tasks by the end of the break. Well, I did get a few key household tasks done that had been bugging me for months on end. However, I pretty much made NO progress on the academic front. Well, I did end up finding out that I was hired to teach a course at another college; I talked at length with the head of the program about the course, but that was it. I didn't get any work done on my proposal. There were various reasons for this-- hardly any day care; husband had vacation days and it was really hard to get even a few hours alone to focus on anything; preparing for and celebrating Christmas; visiting family and friends either out of state or across the state; etc. Of course, I was frustrated that I didn't take any steps towards finishing my proposal draft by the middle of this month. However, as I look back on the break-- putting my frustration aside-- I see many of the positives. I was extremely burnt out from teaching after I submitted all of my grades. I couldn't even think straight that week, despite having day care. I was exhausted. I've also been having some health issues and had to wear a holter monitor (non-invasive cardiology test, akin to a 48-hour EKG) over New Years. Honestly, I needed that break from academic work. I will have to make up for it now, but I needed that time to rest (well, not all of it was restful, but you know what I mean); to spend time with my kids and my family. That time is extremely valuable. I needed some of those moments to just watch TV and "do nothing." We aren't robots, but human beings who need time to recuperate and reflect. I wish that we even had a few extra days of that break. I'm missing them now. However, I know that I need to quickly switch gears now and get back to reality.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
No one gets it!
From the sea of persistent phone calls and e-mail from family members trying to plan for Christmas in two weeks (when we already know the plan, mind you) and/or saying "I don't know if you are DONE with work this week" to the students themselves, NO ONE GETS HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GRADE RESEARCH PAPERS (unless, of course, they have done it themselves at some point). I have (well, now I "had" since I'm a little over halfway done) 55, 8-10 page papers. I also had to grade a final exam. On top of that, I had a 2 hour dentist appointment, doctor's appointments, an interview for an adjunct instructor position, my son's Christmas program, among countless other domestic responsibilities so far this week.
Sometimes I want to scream, "Just because I am not working in an office OUTSIDE of my home this week, it doesn't mean I'm not working far more hours than I am actually paid for with this grading!!!!"
In all honesty, I could go on and on about this issue, but I'm not feeling particularly articulate at this point since I have to get back to grading soon. I just want to be done!!!!
Also, the idea that I am going to be "DONE" with work after I submit grades next Monday is a joke, since I have to finish a draft of my dissertation proposal by early January (I've barely begun). AND....dear family and friends, I'm not being paid for that!!!!!
Sometimes I want to scream, "Just because I am not working in an office OUTSIDE of my home this week, it doesn't mean I'm not working far more hours than I am actually paid for with this grading!!!!"
In all honesty, I could go on and on about this issue, but I'm not feeling particularly articulate at this point since I have to get back to grading soon. I just want to be done!!!!
Also, the idea that I am going to be "DONE" with work after I submit grades next Monday is a joke, since I have to finish a draft of my dissertation proposal by early January (I've barely begun). AND....dear family and friends, I'm not being paid for that!!!!!
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
As stuff keeps getting piled on....
Hello! Yes, I am still around, hanging on as the semester trudges on. I can't tell you how many times I have drafted posts since my last post way back in the summer, only to refrain from hitting "publish" because I either didn't have the time to finish my thoughts or because I felt that the post was waaaay too much of a vent/whine/etc. Anyways, I'm sure that we can all relate to those types of posts.
I came to the realization a long time back that I took on way too much this semester. A large part of it was out of financial necessity-- needing to pay bills (of course), continuation tuition (which really should be in the "bills" category), day care, etc etc etc..... However, my original purpose for getting more child care has been all but squashed (but the semester isn't quite over yet, right??). My life has been taken over by teaching and other miscellaneous jobs, and I've made very little progress on my dissertation proposal.
There have been many days where I've purposed in my heart/mind and have actually written in my calendar that I would give the best part of my day to brainstorming about/outlining/reviewing additional literature for my proposal. That did happen a few times. However, there is always something else which takes over as more of an immediate priority, and it usually has to do with teaching. You see, I've just come to the point where I can't get decent work done after 9 p.m.; my kids often don't go to bed until about 8:30 or 9. I thought that daylight savings would help them go to bed even a little earlier, but it turns out that they decided to go to bed an hour LATER that weekend, so my original theory was debunked. Along with this, I know that I won't be able to get anything done at all between 5 p.m. and 9 p.m. Of course, there have been a few times where I really needed that time, and DH took care of the kids so that I could focus on getting stuff done. However, I want to spend that time with my kids, and I'm often at the point by 5 p.m. where I need the break anyways!! DH can't always make dinner and do all of that, because he also has to prepare for his classes on some days. All of this to say that if I NEED to get something done for the next day, which often involves course prep so I don't feel like I'm totally disorganized and mumbo jumboed (if that can be an adjective) during my 3 classes, I need to do it while the kids are in preschool/day care.
However, you can imagine that I am very frustrated and disappointed with myself for not making the progress that I had hoped on my proposal. Time is one part of it, but the other is that I keep fluctuating about my topic and the direction that I want to take with the research. This is CONSTANTLY on my mind. Just when I think I have it, I really don't have it, and I still don't feel this sense of surety about it. I'm just hoping and praying that I can break ground with this soon. I haven't been in touch with my advisors in a few weeks because of all this. I feel that just when I feel that I need to spend several hours or even a whole day thinking and working on this, something else gets piled on. It's like sitting at the foot of a stairwell and several people standing at the top keep throwing papers upon papers on you; because it is a more enclosed space it gets to the point where you are swimming in the papers, and you can't even see the people standing at the balcony above. I know that many of my grad student or former grad student colleagues can relate to this. And you know, it's not completely an issue of confidence, because every time I look over a recent dissertation I think to myself, "this isn't so bad, I can do this!" I can do it, but I really need to get the time, make the time, and make a solid decision about what I am going to do and how. I'm finding that to be a bit difficult at this point in time.
I came to the realization a long time back that I took on way too much this semester. A large part of it was out of financial necessity-- needing to pay bills (of course), continuation tuition (which really should be in the "bills" category), day care, etc etc etc..... However, my original purpose for getting more child care has been all but squashed (but the semester isn't quite over yet, right??). My life has been taken over by teaching and other miscellaneous jobs, and I've made very little progress on my dissertation proposal.
There have been many days where I've purposed in my heart/mind and have actually written in my calendar that I would give the best part of my day to brainstorming about/outlining/reviewing additional literature for my proposal. That did happen a few times. However, there is always something else which takes over as more of an immediate priority, and it usually has to do with teaching. You see, I've just come to the point where I can't get decent work done after 9 p.m.; my kids often don't go to bed until about 8:30 or 9. I thought that daylight savings would help them go to bed even a little earlier, but it turns out that they decided to go to bed an hour LATER that weekend, so my original theory was debunked. Along with this, I know that I won't be able to get anything done at all between 5 p.m. and 9 p.m. Of course, there have been a few times where I really needed that time, and DH took care of the kids so that I could focus on getting stuff done. However, I want to spend that time with my kids, and I'm often at the point by 5 p.m. where I need the break anyways!! DH can't always make dinner and do all of that, because he also has to prepare for his classes on some days. All of this to say that if I NEED to get something done for the next day, which often involves course prep so I don't feel like I'm totally disorganized and mumbo jumboed (if that can be an adjective) during my 3 classes, I need to do it while the kids are in preschool/day care.
However, you can imagine that I am very frustrated and disappointed with myself for not making the progress that I had hoped on my proposal. Time is one part of it, but the other is that I keep fluctuating about my topic and the direction that I want to take with the research. This is CONSTANTLY on my mind. Just when I think I have it, I really don't have it, and I still don't feel this sense of surety about it. I'm just hoping and praying that I can break ground with this soon. I haven't been in touch with my advisors in a few weeks because of all this. I feel that just when I feel that I need to spend several hours or even a whole day thinking and working on this, something else gets piled on. It's like sitting at the foot of a stairwell and several people standing at the top keep throwing papers upon papers on you; because it is a more enclosed space it gets to the point where you are swimming in the papers, and you can't even see the people standing at the balcony above. I know that many of my grad student or former grad student colleagues can relate to this. And you know, it's not completely an issue of confidence, because every time I look over a recent dissertation I think to myself, "this isn't so bad, I can do this!" I can do it, but I really need to get the time, make the time, and make a solid decision about what I am going to do and how. I'm finding that to be a bit difficult at this point in time.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
I'm my own worst enemy- time management and the every present "P" word
I mentioned a while back that I bought an electronic version of Dr. Neil Fiore's The Now Habit. This is a great book about tackling procrastination (the ugly evil "P" word) at its roots. I admit, I have been wanting to read this book in its entirety for a while, but I have only read portions of it so far. Much of what I have read so far truly reflects my own thoughts and actions. For instance, Fiore talks about how we avoid certain tasks; how we talk to ourselves while we are avoiding those tasks (i.e., "I should be working on this, or I have to work on that). Right now, I should be working on my 3 conference presentations for the upcoming weekend. Undoubtedly, I am interested in the work that I am presenting, or I wouldn't have done the work and submitted the papers/abstracts in the first place. However, I am putting it off. I keep telling myself, "I should be working on the outlines/powerpoint for these presentations." Sometimes, spend a good amount of time working on one outline, but then I get restless and switch to working on another one, or something else entirely. Sometimes, I just get sick of sitting (nevermind my back pain and sciatica which is exacerbated by this continual sitting); I walk around the house, get sidetracked by dishes or laundry, or toys all over the floor that are driving me crazy; I find an excuse to go outside and get fresh air. Other times, I just feel like my attention span is severely shrinking as time goes on, and I just can't spend an extended amount of time on one task. Other times, I sit there thinking about how I "should" have somehow found more time to work on my dissertation proposal as opposed to these conference-related projects all summer (granted, I would like to turn at least one of these into a publishable journal article, but still--- none of these projects are explicitly related to my dissertation). Thus, there are times that I take a few minutes out in between to search for articles related to my dissertation topic. As a result, I get sidetracked from projects that should be more of a priority at the present time. Other times, of course, I get distracted by Facebook, e-mail, forums that discuss by favorite addicting Hindi serials, working on my syllabi for the upcoming semesters' courses, hoping that my kids are doing fine at day care, feeling guilty that if I could just somehow work better in the evenings we could have saved some money on day care-- if we could communicate better about our schedule I could have somehow found regular time in the evenings/on weekends to work, etc etc etc and the rabbit trail of thoughts goes on. Really, I am my own worst enemy when it comes to time management. I think part of it has to do with just being frustrated about a plethora of interrelated issues; another part is attention span and getting bored with work that requires continuous sitting and solute. I often think back to my former job, the one I left before starting grad school again. As a social worker, I was constantly talking with clients and other co-workers. It was insanely busy at times, but it was also insanely rewarding. It's funny, because no matter what situation we are in in life, we tend to think of how the "grass is greener" in one way or another-- whether we are thinking back to another phase of our lives, or we think of how our lives would have been if we had a "normal" job, or if we didn't have to worry about a certain project, or if we could have more carefree time with our family, etc. Either way, I admit that I have a serious time management problem, and I guess that is the first step with trying to tackle it. Now, if only I could make the time (and not procrastinate!!!) to read Fiore's book and put the principles he sets forth into practice. If only I could just get these presentations DONE, especially since I only have 3 days before I leave for the conferences!!!! Here's to trying to focus and not talking myself into a pit! I need to perform cognitive behavioral therapy on myself!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Oh no...it's the end of July already?!?!?
Yes, a little over a month remains before I have to begin teaching; before my son starts a new preschool; before I **really** need to get serious about my dissertation proposal. However, the heat is on (no pun intended, since we have had a bit of a scorching summer to say the least) as I have to finish preparing 3 presentations for 2 conferences I am attending in a little over 2 weeks. Also, I started the summer with high hopes for my dissertation proposal, but I have not made much progress on it at all. Sure, I could blame the fact that we had to travel for a family wedding; we had family from afar visiting for a week and took constant day trips which equated to many hundreds of miles driven and many minutes of lost sleep (particularly for the kids!); we had graduation parties and cookouts and lost many "day care" days due to holidays, sickness, and traveling to boot. Not to mention, as I have said in previous posts, lack of motivation, direction, continuous questions arising in my mind that warranted additional literature reviews, lack of funds for additional child care in between all the traveling craziness, etc. Of course, I am grateful that being a grad student allows me the flexibility to enjoy all of these things-- time with family, precious time with my kids. However, I'm also continuously (seems like I really like variants of the word "continuous" in this post!) feeling like my dissertation proposal, among other projects, is hanging over my head like an ominous rain cloud. Not to mention financial concerns associated with child care, paying continuation tuition, and not being sure that I will definitely be teaching a third class in the fall.
And then there are the concerns that go along with parenting. Hoping that my son will adjust well to his new preschool; feeling bad that we can't afford to send him to another preschool where some of his friends from his previous school will be attending (although I've heard very mixed reviews about that program); dealing with *continuous* potty training issues. Wondering if the day care where we are sending both kids two days per week is the best one for them and if we would be able to find something better that 1. was just as flexible and 2. cost the same or less. Hoping that DD will benefit from the physical therapy that she is starting later this week since she is behind in gross motor skills.
And... just the general concerns associated with how we are going to keep juggling it all once the semester starts. Can we really work out a good schedule where I will be able to do work outside of "work day" timings? Will my husband and others understand that there is no way I will be able to get my dissertation proposal done by December AND do all the work for teaching 3 classes with part- time child care for both kids?
I guess I am getting ahead of myself a bit, after all, we still do technically have 5 weeks of the summer to enjoy, and there are many more things I want to enjoy with my family before the grind of teaching on top of everything else begins. However, many of these concerns, like the academic projects hanging over my head, are really, *continuous.* As I said, I have much to be grateful for; despite the concerns I have for my kids they are very advanced and growing in many other areas; they surprise me every day. And, we do manage to balance the household chores, although I still feel there is much to be worked out with my work schedule, which I believe is one of the big issues impacting my motivation. Nevertheless, I think that for now I just need to focus on my immediate "to do" list; although I might not get a huge chunk of it done each day I need to make some progress before these conferences and my syllabi are due in a couple weeks. Now I must press onward (or more accurately..inch forward).
And then there are the concerns that go along with parenting. Hoping that my son will adjust well to his new preschool; feeling bad that we can't afford to send him to another preschool where some of his friends from his previous school will be attending (although I've heard very mixed reviews about that program); dealing with *continuous* potty training issues. Wondering if the day care where we are sending both kids two days per week is the best one for them and if we would be able to find something better that 1. was just as flexible and 2. cost the same or less. Hoping that DD will benefit from the physical therapy that she is starting later this week since she is behind in gross motor skills.
And... just the general concerns associated with how we are going to keep juggling it all once the semester starts. Can we really work out a good schedule where I will be able to do work outside of "work day" timings? Will my husband and others understand that there is no way I will be able to get my dissertation proposal done by December AND do all the work for teaching 3 classes with part- time child care for both kids?
I guess I am getting ahead of myself a bit, after all, we still do technically have 5 weeks of the summer to enjoy, and there are many more things I want to enjoy with my family before the grind of teaching on top of everything else begins. However, many of these concerns, like the academic projects hanging over my head, are really, *continuous.* As I said, I have much to be grateful for; despite the concerns I have for my kids they are very advanced and growing in many other areas; they surprise me every day. And, we do manage to balance the household chores, although I still feel there is much to be worked out with my work schedule, which I believe is one of the big issues impacting my motivation. Nevertheless, I think that for now I just need to focus on my immediate "to do" list; although I might not get a huge chunk of it done each day I need to make some progress before these conferences and my syllabi are due in a couple weeks. Now I must press onward (or more accurately..inch forward).
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